face down

call it aftermath, she's turning blue

there are times in your life when you just want to build a wall around yourself, or live in a bubble, or destroy humanity. there are times in your life when everything just piles up, all at once, crowding into your brain. this is one of those times, for me. i keep thinking of him, of this, of them, of that, of the lack of all of those, of everything. my electricity bill arrived today, and i broke into a cold sweat on seeing the pleasant €380 at the bottom of it, and promptly rushed off to claim my unemployment benefit. when i got to the post office, i gave them my card so she could check my PPS number, and she took her sweet-ass time doing it. evidently there is nothing in the account. the account which is supposed to have nearly 1.5k in there. i did my wtf-face at her for a moment, then stormed out.

now, normally i would have been polite about it, but by a happy coincidence i had not slept a week the night before, riddled by anxiety and such. so you can understand my mood on returning to a boyfriendless, foodless apartment. not very impressed, i can tell you. i spent the rest of the day in the pained company of my invalid other half, only to be shooed home without a goodbye, too early for my liking.

i promised myself i wouldn't bitch.
so, anyway. tomorrow i am going to STORM into the social welfare dude, and DEMAND my fucking money. otherwise, the government is going to have my foot up its ass.

peace.

♥